Devotionals @ The Mount Church

People that know me best may sometimes describe part of my personality as “worry-wart” or “overly cautious.”  I do tend to worry way too much, mainly about the safety of my family.  I often also silently stress about my performance at a job or at being a mother, about living up to the expectations of God, or about revealing to the world that I’ve got it all under control.  Such worries can often be crippling to a person’s life, stopping them from having fulfilling relationships or achieving goals.  Though my worries haven’t hindered my life in big ways at this point, I think twice if flying in an airplane is necessary to achieve a career goal, and I never go to bed with the front door unlocked.  I simply desire a feeling of security.

I am not sure from where such worries truly stem, but I have some ideas.  A serious car wreck when I was a teenager and losing my grandmother to cancer that same year are situations I tend to blame.  Part of it, though, is surely just part of my personality.  However, as I have gotten older, and grown in my understanding of my relationship with God, I have concluded that the main reason I am a “worry wart” is because I lack trust and faith.  It’s difficult to admit, but it’s true.

Despite my need for a sense of security in all aspects of life, however, I have one ironic interest—skydiving.  Now, don’t misunderstand.  I haven’t ever been, but the idea has fascinated me for years.  The ability to jump into the air and discover the true meaning of “free fall” seems exhilarating.  When I am experiencing an amusement ride, it’s the dropping sensation I love the most, the feeling most like an actual free fall.  I guess this irony in my life exists because I am so guarded in much of my life; deep down I simply want to be able to let go; not to give up, but to take a leap without thinking about all the consequences first.

Denise Levertov, a American poet who died in the late twentieth century, was a woman who examined spiritual concepts throughout most of her life.  Though she chose agnosticism initially, Levertov converted to Catholicism and began to follow Christ in her sixties.  Because of her mixed spiritual background, with interests in Hasidic mysticism, Anglicanism, and ancient mythology, I would imagine that the decision to  accept the grace of God would be a difficult one.  Her poem “Avowal,” however, illustrates a different sentiment altogether, one that makes me conclude that she gave into the salvation God offered with pure abandonment of her own will.

The Avowal

As swimmers dare
to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.

After reading and rereading and rereading this poem, I continue to walk away with an overwhelming desire to experience this kind of freedom in Christ, this kind of trust in the grace of God alone, to give in completely, with abandon and never looking back. I believe that the closest followers of Jesus experienced a similar free-fall. When Christ called his disciples to follow him, they left their past lives, they gave in completely despite the sacrifices or the fears or the unknowns. The New Testament presents men who were so ready for Christ in their life, when he showed up, they simply fell into that “Spirit’s deep embrace.”

As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea - for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fish for people.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. As he went from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed him.

Matthew 4:18-22

As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man called Matthew sitting at the tax booth; and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him.

Matthew 9:9

One term you see repeated in these scriptures is “immediately.” The fishermen don’t hesitate, wandering what they would leave behind or if the future would be safe or if this man could be trusted. They immediately accepted Jesus as leader. In some ways, such a relinquishing of control seems scary to me, as I often like plans and the safest path, but mostly, such a free-fall sounds exhilarating. Ultimately, it’s the safest, most freeing choice I can make. Unfortunately, I still don’t always have the trust of a swimmer or hawk, but continually pray that God will teach me how to skydive into His grace.

With the many transitions presently occurring in our church body, it is important that we, as a congregation, pray diligently for and think seriously about the leadership of our body of believers.  We just recently elected new deacons to provide guidance and service to the church; a few months ago, we added a new face to the nursery; we will soon be creating a committee to direct our search for a pastor; and eventually, we will welcome a new preacher to our church. Such leadership roles demand people of character, integrity, and, most importantly, spiritual maturity.

In the midst of such changes, we often overlook the true leadership of the Church, Jesus Christ. Of course, we all KNOW that Jesus is the head of the church because, well, that is what our faith is based on, but we don’t always ACT like He is. We often focus more on the people doing the work of the church and their decision making instead of faithfully relying on Jesus to “rule” the church. A look at Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, though, gives us a great illustration of the relationship our church should have with Christ:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

We often hear this scripture within a sermon on marriage, but it’s insights on Jesus’ role within the church are probably even more vital. As always, however, Jesus illustrates a complex idea with an analogy that makes his teachings relevant and accessible. Let’s use this analogy, then, to think more deeply about Jesus’ position as leader of the Church.

If maintained as God designed, a marriage is probably the most intimate relationship humans develop—physically and emotionally. In order to continue a marriage relationship, a couple must spend quality time together—talking before bed, participating in shared interests, cooking dinner together, or taking walks—things that allow them to stay connected to each others’ lives.

A successful marriage also demands sacrifice. I try to remind myself daily to do whatever I can to make the life of my husband easier. If we both live by such a mantra, our relationship will easily grow and mature and remain fulfilling. However, if we decide to live selfishly, resentment and hurt feelings will begin to divide us.

These two ideas of intimacy and sacrifice are important factors in defining love—the main reason most of us would say we decided to marry in the first place. Love is a choice we make, a choice to continue an intimate relationship by being willing, daily, to care sacrificially for another human being. Because of our sinful nature, we don’t always love unconditionally, even in our marriages, but we can be thankful that God’s Son does.

If we think about these aforementioned parts of marriage as we reread Ephesians 5, God reveals the amazing way Jesus loves and rules the Church.

1. Jesus’ Intimacy with the Church

This letter by Paul illustrates the closeness Jesus desires with the Church through verses 22-24. These verses on submission are often misinterpreted, implying submission is a result of control or dominance. However, the submission of a wife to her husband has much more to do with trust. A wife allows her husband to have the final say in major decisions about the family because she has chosen a man who has earned her respect and confidence not because she is forced to do so. The same is true with the Church. Believers can find intimacy with Christ once we trust Him enough to submit our own desires to His will and decision making. Submission is about a mutual affection and loyalty.

Verses 31-33 even more directly demonstrate Jesus’ desired intimacy with His Church. Just as the man leaves his family to join his new bride, Christ draws close to the Body. This is most obviously confirmed as he left the comforts of Heaven to live, suffer, and die as a man. He temporarily left His Heavenly Father to physically fellowship with the men he chose as the cornerstones of the Church. Though He no longer walks on Earth, the teachings of those disciples close to Him and the promised Holy Spirit still offer us a chance to intimately know Jesus.

2. Jesus’ Sacrifice for the Church

Ephesians also makes it clear that Jesus, just as a husband and wife, lives sacrificially for His bride, the Church. Verses 25-27 remind us of Jesus’ commitment to take the place for our sins, but what most stands out to me is the reason he did so. He loved us so dearly that he wanted us to stand perfectly before God, and if that took a torturous death and separation from the Father, we was willing to do it. He wasn’t just willing to do whatever it would take to make our lives “easier,” He did whatever it took to make them perfect.

As we think about the future of our church, let’s stay focused on the marriage between the body and Christ. Let’s develop a intimacy with Jesus, let’s acknowledge and praise his sacrifice, and let’s rely on Him to rule our decisions. The Church’s life will be a lot easier this way!

Looking through my family’s vacation albums, one will find a picture of my younger sister, probably around the age of four, standing in a sea of tourists on Main Street, Disney World. Despite the excitement of rides, snacks, and shops around her, she wears a look of loneliness and desperation, the look of a lost child. Obviously, to my parents, she wasn’t actually lost; they knew she was safe enough to snap a quick photo, but to my sister, who wasn’t sure where her family had disappeared to in this strange place, was completely alone, possibly even feeling abandoned.

Do you have moments like that? Despite the world’s busyness going on around you and the many people surrounding you, do you ever feel lonely and desperate? I think at some point in our lives, while we deal with serious illness or broken relationships or stressful jobs or depressing circumstances, we’ve all felt abandoned to some degree. Even though we realize that we have family support, or special friendships, or a prayerful church, sometimes we feel like we are standing in an amusement park and we’re the only ones not having any fun; we’re the only ones who feel out of place.

It always amazes me that God understands so clearly our everyday fears and needs and has already made promises and given us hope in the face of such moments in our lives. Throughout the Old and New Testament, God constantly reminds us of his loving and unfailing presence.

As Jacob left the familiarity of his home at the request of Isaac, God uses a dream to remind him that he was not alone on his life’s journey: “And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.” Genesis: 28:15.

As Moses aged and was no longer able to physically lead the Israelites, he encourages them with this reminder: “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Deuteronomy 31:6.

At Saul’s coronation, Samuel recognizes the sinful pasts of the Israelites, but reassures them of God’s love for His people: “ For the LORD will not forsake his people for his great name’s sake: because it hath pleased the LORD to make you his people.” 1 Samuel 12:22

As a dedicated servant of the Lord, though often frustrated with the lack of acceptance of his message, Isaiah shares in a poem the faithfulness of God’s presence: “Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the LORD hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted.
But Zion said, The LORD hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.
Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.” Isaiah 49: 13-15

As Paul affirms the efforts of the early churches and sympathizes with their struggles, he also understands that they too need reminding of God’s closeness: “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5

God feels no different toward us than he did toward Isaac, Moses, Samuel, Isaiah, or Paul. He created us in his image and desires an intimacy with us regardless of our faults and failures. The most literal example of God being present with his creation occurs in Genesis, as He walks through the Garden with Adam and Eve before their sinful fall. I am often envious of such an experience, and then I remember that God did not abandon us, even after our sins; he still draws near to us.

I’m not sure how my sister got “lost” in that aforementioned picture. Maybe she simply walked in the wrong direction, let go of her parent’s hand, or wandered aimlessly paying little attention the world around her. Don’t we do the same? Those are the times when we too feel far away from God. . . because we moved. God is like my parents. He is still here. He is still protecting us. He is simply waiting for us to look back up and make eye contact, then we’ll be lost no more.

At different stages of life, we are appreciative for varying parts of God’s character and role. For example, as a young child, it is easy to look to God as a protector, much like we understand the function of a father. He could scare away any creepy visitors in our bedrooms at night or keep us safe in the midst of booming thunder. As a college freshman, it is easy to look to God as a friend, one who can offer compassion and companionship as we venture into a world of strangers and “grown-up” responsibilities. It is not until I had my daughter, though, that I was able to understand God as unconditional love.

Even as my baby grew in my womb, I had fallen in love and created an unbreakable bond. She was always close and easily protected, and I was blessed enough to be the one who could feel every move she made. As soon as I delivered her, however, I had to learn, little by little, to let her go and be apart of the world around her. I slept for nights with my head next to the lacy bassinet listening to her every sound. I held her close to me and rocked her anytime she got overwhelmed with the people and things going on around her. I still, after eighteen months, touch my palm to her chest each night to feel her breathe before I head off to bed. I do all of these things because I have a responsibility to care for her; after all, God loaned her to me for her lifetime on earth.

But, most importantly, I do all of these things because I love her in a way I have never loved another thing, with a sense of unconditional love. Because of my overwhelming desire to care for and love her, I am starting to get an idea about how God can love “a sinner like me.” It does not matter how many rules my daughter breaks, how many tantrums she throws, or how many food items she tosses from her highchair, no action makes me love her less and no good deed, sloppy kiss, or tight hug could make me love her more. I simply love her with my whole being because she is mine. And that’s how God loves me. And that amazes me still!

Though as parents, our role is often discipline or guidance, we also find ourselves with a desire to GIVE our children anything within our means. We desire for their needs to be met. We even desire for their every want to be met. For example, I think my husband has already promised a yard full of ponies to our little girl who doesn’t even know what one is. Generosity simply becomes natural as a mom or dad.

This generous spirit is one we learn from God, one we inherit as sons and daughters in His image. And as I began to think about all the ways in which God demonstrates His giving attitude, the most significant one continued to jump out at me. He gave the world His Son as a living sacrifice! He did not simply send him far away to become a teacher and missionary. He did not simply give him as a preacher in a rebellious land. He did not simply send him as a doctor to care for the helpless. He sent Him to die. His most loved…to die.

John 3: 16-21 shows us:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.

There is no generosity greater and none more powerful, for God suffered by watching his Son suffer so that he could provide us with salvation, with a reconciliation to Himself. The world when Jesus arrived was much like it is today—full of a lot of unlovable and sinful humans, but God thought us worthy to be saved. Oh what a generous and loving Father we have!

God has shown me generosity in many ways in my life, but as I reflect on what he has taught me about those gifts he has given, I realize that I too must learn to be generous. I must use my time, resources, and love to give freely to anyone around me, but I should also offer up my heart, mind, soul, and strength generously to Him. After all, after the sacrifice He made for me, He clearly deserves it. I want everyone one to see that “what [I have] done has been done through God.”

Do you ever make the mistake of believing God is a “comparison shopper,” looking for the Christian most “worthy” of His grace, overlooking those other Christians who do not seem to “do” quite as much for Him? I know I fall in to this trap often; I ashamedly find myself thinking “well, I may not be praying every night, but at least I am not doing as badly as “so and so.” Or I will wonder why one person seems to have everything I desire even though they haven’t lived such a “good” life. It’s easy to have these selfish and envious thoughts, but it’s also sinful and displeasing to God. We often forget that, even though we may not completely understand it, our God is just and loving and graceful—to ALL who accept him.

The parable of the vineyard owner in Matthew 20 illustrates these characteristics of God in a concrete way.

For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard.

About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4He told them, “You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.” So they went.

He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, “Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?”

“Because no one has hired us,” they answered.
He said to them, “You also go and work in my vineyard.”

When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, “Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.”

The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. “These men who were hired last worked only one hour,” they said, “and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.”

But he answered one of them, “Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary gives helpful insight into Jesus’s purpose in this parable, especially to his contemporaries. The Jews, “God’s chosen people,” had a difficult time accepting that the coming of Christ also meant that they were no longer more important to God than the Gentiles, even though these Gentiles were only recent believers in their God. God loved both Jew and Gentile equally and blessed them equally as well. Many Jews were angered. Many were jealous. Many were confused. Jesus used this story to help them understand that God makes no distinction as long as individuals believe, accept, and love him.

Currently, the differences between Jew and Gentile are not so prevalent in our culture, but this parable is still applicable, for we are often just as selfish, jealous, and confused as those Jewish people trying to figure out Jesus. This illustration, therefore, is relevant in our contemporary lives for many reasons:

1. God is in charge. Matthew Henry points out that Jesus’s parable reminds us that “God is debtor to no man.” In other words, he is the ultimate boss, the one decision maker, the supreme leader. We must submit to his power, as the laborers did to the owner, regardless of our own desires.

2. God is forgiving. Though it’s sometimes hard to give up our selfish wishes to follow God’s commands, he rewards our obedience with blessings. He also, however, forgives us when we are not as quick to obey as He would hope. In many ways, this parable offers such relief. For it does not matter when you convert to believing in God, or what you were like before the conversion; what matters, to God, is the change. After that, we are all blessed and loved equally.

3. God expects compassion. Since our purpose in life is to reflect Christ, one of the most important traits Christians should possess is compassion. The laborers who had worked the hardest and the longest found it difficult to find compassion for those who had only worked an hour and reaped the same benefits. God, however, expects us to celebrate blessings for all and to avoid wishing negative consequences for a fellow believer. How many times, though, do you find yourself thinking like those laborers: “well, that sure isn’t fair!” Instead, God expects us to remember that He is sovereign, has been merciful to us, and anticipates our love for one another.

I will admit, I was confused after my first reading of this passage in Matthew. And then I realized, my inability to comprehend the meaning of the parable was due to my sympathy with the all-day workers. I exhibit the same self-centered thinking, thinking, that after careful reading and studying, I realize must change. I should no longer compare myself and my Christian walk to those around me because God never does. Whew, what a relief!