I don’t usually share all that much personal information with our devotional writing, but this will be an exception. Many of you are already aware that my wife has been undergoing treatment for Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Today was her* last trip to the hospital to receive chemotherapy. We’ve already received the good new that she is in remission. But we still went today. And in a way, there was definitely an air of rejoicing, of thanks that the journey was over.
In reality, the journey is not over. Going in for the last treatment meant subjecting my wife to the pain of chemotherapy, just as she was beginning to regain some vitality, some rest, some respite from physical pain. It’s one thing to do this in the middle of treatment when you still aren’t sure what the outcome will be. You know that the pain is worth every last bit. But as you lay there with the knowledge that the cancer has been knocked out and defeated, following the plan of the doctors with all their wisdom and experience seems unnecessary; maybe even too much to bear. Why do I have to keep doing this? I won’t go into any detail of what her particular cocktail of chemotherapy drugs can do, but rest assured that it is a full body treatment. Not an inch gets by without feeling the effects.
But all that said, the joy is real. There is a bell in the chemotherapy treatment that each patient gets to ring as they leave that final treatment. It is a reminder, something to look forward to as you undergo treatment, and something to consider some day years from now. And there is joy in it! Yes, it is just a piece of metal twisted, bent together. It has no inherent significance. It is just a bell. But it takes on a life that is more. And my wife got to ring it, as I listened to her over the phone.
So let us go out to him outside the camp and bear the disgrace he bore. For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come.
Hebrews 13:13-14Hebrews 13:13-14
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
13 That's why we should go outside the camp to Jesus and share in his disgrace. 14 On this earth we don't have a city that lasts forever, but we are waiting for such a city.
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The next two weeks for my wife are going to be filled with sickness, pain and weariness, much as the rest of her treatment. But what a relief to know that this experience isn’t the end. There is life after this! The pain and suffering is not forever. And our lives in Christ are much the same way.
We can live defeated. We can wallow in misery at all that comes our way. Every setback, every failure, every grievance can fester into something worse. We can be bitter that Christ does not usher us before the throne with joy. We can demand a hearing before God in self-righteous anguish, and miss what he is doing through it all. Or we can see ourselves crucified with Christ. We can find those things that God has placed around us that give us hope and joy. That lighten the load. Those markers that point us to our ultimate home and an end to suffering. Full joy!
So with that I only want to ask, what is it in your life that feels like such a burden that you simply want to give up under its weight? Take a moment to consider how has God surrounded you with his love, or opportunities to trust him in the midst of this thing. What is it that gives you strength to endure? I pray that the Spirit will be at work among us, opening eyes, encouraging hearts, overwhelming us with love and grace.
* I said “our” in my mind as I was writing this, and it truly is a family affair, but it felt shameful to include myself in what she has gone through, as if I felt all the pain she felt. Anyway, these are the thoughts one has as one goes through such things…
Thanks for writing this and sharing the joy and victory with us.