In the 80′s and 90′s Ropes Courses became a popular way to develop trust and build teamwork among coworkers. These courses often involved participants completing physical and psychological challenges both at ground level and high above the ground. The desired result was for participants to carry the skills of teamwork back into the office setting.
I participated in a course many years ago with district office personnel from my school district. I must honestly say that even though those folks might have been willing to catch me as I fell backwards off a raised platform, I never gained the confidence that they would “have my back” if a controversy erupted involving an event in my classroom. Maybe I’m just not trusting enough.
On the contrary, it has always been my experience that trust is built over much more time than an afternoon in the forest. Most people these days do not blindly trust others due to having been betrayed and hurt in the past. Putting it bluntly, if you want someone to trust you, you must prove yourself trustworthy.
Probably the single most important part of building trust rests in our ability to control one of the smallest yet deadliest members of our body…the tongue. The Bible warns us that gossip separates even the closest of friends and Proverbs is full of warnings about the damage the mouth can cause. There is probably no more graphic warning than the one we receive in James 3:2-10James 3:2-10
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
2 All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body.
3 By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions.
4 It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction.
5 Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things.
It takes only a spark to start a forest fire!
6 The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person's entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed.
8 But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison.
9-10 . My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn't right.
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We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants them to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole couse of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our LORD and Father,and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
James 3:2-10James 3:2-10
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
2 All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body. 3 By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions. 4 It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction. 5 Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things. It takes only a spark to start a forest fire! 6 The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person's entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed. 8 But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison. 9-10 . My dear friends, with our tongues we speak both praises and curses. We praise our Lord and Father, and we curse people who were created to be like God, and this isn't right.
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Pretty depressing scripture. Basically, none of us can escape fault here. No one has total control over their tongue but that does not excuse us from accountability. We would be wise to add a prayer as we leave the house every morning for God to add one more piece to our spiritual armor. A muzzle.
While the negative impact of our tongue is undeniable so too are the positive:
- Proverbs 10:20Proverbs 10:20
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
20 The words of a good person are like pure silver, but the thoughts of an evil person are almost worthless.
WP-Bible plugin – The tongue of the righteous is choice silver. - Proverbs 10:21Proverbs 10:21
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
21 Many are helped by useful instruction, but fools are killed by their own stupidity.
WP-Bible plugin – The lips of the righteous nourish many. - Proverbs 13:3Proverbs 13:3
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
3 Keep what you know to yourself, and you will be safe; talk too much, and you are done for.
WP-Bible plugin – He who guards his lips guards his life. - Proverbs 20:15Proverbs 20:15
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
15 Sensible words are better than gold or jewels.
WP-Bible plugin – Lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel. - Proverbs 25:11Proverbs 25:11
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
11 The right word at the right time is like precious gold set in silver.
WP-Bible plugin – A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Probably one of the most difficult places to control our tongue is in the workplace. We may even look forward to gathering in the breakroom or at a restaurant to blow off steam and release our frustrations by raking other coworkers over the coals. I’ve often wondered how much my attitude would change towards that irritating coworker if I spent my time praying for them instead of complaining about them. If I purposely went out of my way to do random acts of kindness for that coworker instead of trying to avoid her. Chances are that I would see a change in my coworker, but most likely the greatest change would be within me. And I wouldn’t be surprised if one day my former enemy became my friend and admitted that she once found me to be as unbearable as I had once found her.
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