As they were walking along someone said to Jesus, “I will follow you no matter where you go.”
But Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens to live in, and birds have nests, but I, the Son of Man, have no home of my own, not even a place to lay my head.”
He said to another person, “Come, be my disciple.”
The man agreed, but he said, “Lord, first, let me return home and bury my father.”
Jesus replied, “Let those who are spiritually dead care for their own dead. Your duty is to go and preach the coming of the Kingdom of God.”
Another said, “Yes, Lord, I will follow you, but first let me say good-bye to my family.”
But Jesus told him, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.”
Luke 9:57-62Luke 9:57-62
English: Contemporary English Version (1999) - CEV
Three People Who Wanted To Be Followers 57 Along the way someone said to Jesus, “I'll go anywhere with you!” 58 Jesus said, “Foxes have dens, and birds have nests, but the Son of Man doesn't have a place to call his own.” 59 Jesus told someone else to come with him. But the man said, “Lord, let me wait until I bury my father.” n bury my father: The Jewish people taught that giving someone a proper burial was even more important than helping the poor. 60 Jesus answered, “Let the dead take care of the dead, while you go and tell about God's kingdom.” 61 . Then someone said to Jesus, “I want to go with you, Lord, but first let me go back and take care of things at home.” 62 Jesus answered, “Anyone who starts plowing and keeps looking back isn't worth a thing to God's kingdom!”
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Let’s cut to the chase today. Honoring God comes before honoring our parents. Obedience to God’s word and will comes before obedience to the words and advice of our parents. I know deeply what it is like to have to reject a parent’s will in favor of God’s will.
I don’t say that lightly. This isn’t about some childhood dream that my parents would have squashed. It isn’t a tale of overcoming a parent’s overbearing desire for me to be a lawyer and make a name for myself, something they were never able to do. Those are the stories we hear, the pop-culture of turning from our parents to our dreams. We need to be very careful we aren’t substituting our hopes for God’s will…
Many of the events in my early days as a Christian caused my parents grief. My parents often showed me they felt rejection, betrayal and jealousy and my growth as a Christian was often an opportunity for strain in our relationship, rather than joy.
It isn’t that they were upset with my decision to follow Christ. Their reaction just seemed to say that it was inconvenient. When I started following Christ, becoming a disciple in ways that had material cost, things definitely got more heated. Destroying thousands of dollars worth of my music was the tipping point, an event that cemented in my mind that I was choosing to fill my mind with those things that pleased my God, rejecting those things that didn’t. To my parents, it was an act of betrayal, a statement of my disrespect and lack of consideration for their feelings.
Please understand me. I am not bad-mouthing my parents or saying I always handled things the best way. However, I want you to understand that there are times when honoring God will mean you will hurt your parent’s feelings. There may come a time when you will have to choose between your parents and following God. Even when the act of following God seems in direct conflict with your parents’ stated will, you can still choose to show them respect.
But I want to also add that having to choose between God and our parents is not the typical pattern addressed in scripture. Jesus, in Luke, is not exactly trying to say that we should honor God before our parents (though this is true). Rather, he is very direct that we should not use our parents (or any other family member) as an excuse to avoid following God.
That’s what Jesus is showing in Luke 9. The man who requests leave to bury his father seems to be asking a noble thing. But it is possible that his father was still alive. In essence, this man was saying, “I’ll follow you, but it isn’t convenient right now. I’ll follow you when I don’t have anything else going on (like when my parents are dead, and I’ve gotten the inheritance; maybe then…)” The next man’s request seems similar to that of Elisha (1 Kings 19-21), but Jesus’ reaction shows that he saw through this man’s heart. Elisha ran to his parents and told them “good-bye”, then left. He sacrificed his livelihood, and then followed God’s call. He was seeking to honor his parents and God. This man, on the other hand, was looking for an excuse, some reason to avoid following, some loophole in the call to discipleship.
When it comes to the question of honoring God or our parents, it is a question of discipleship. We must ask ourselves; Are we truly deciding between God’s will and our parents’ will? Or are we looking for a reason to avoid doing what we know God has called us to do?
prayer
God, I want to thank you for my mother and father. I know we have not always seen eye to eye. My own sinfulness and childishness has caused me to act in ways that did not properly reflect you before them. Lord, give me great wisdom when dealing with my parents, so that they will see the love you have for me, and the plan you are working out in my life.
Thank you for the way that they raised me. They set a high standard and they always let me know that I was loved. Help me to show my own children unconditional love. Help me to raise them in a way that they will see Christ and come to know Jesus personally.
Father, help us to honor our parents. Help us to follow you unwaveringly. Help us to be an example to the world of what families and communities built on true respect and love look like.
This post was originally distributed through PDF in conjunction with the Law And Order series, May 28, 2007.
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