Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The LORD, the God of Israel, says, `I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. I gave you his house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. Why, then, have you despised the word of the LORD and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah and stolen his wife. From this time on, the sword will be a constant threat to your family, because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own.

“`Because of what you have done, I, the LORD, will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man, and he will go to bed with them in public view. You did it secretly, but I will do this to you openly in the sight of all Israel.’”

2 Samuel 12:7-12

David is well known for this one particular event, his adultery with Bathsheba and the resulting spiral of murder and lies. This man, often identified with the phrase “a man after God’s own heart,” made a critical mistake which resulted in the virtual destruction of his family. He is a man after God’s own heart because of the way he responded to his own sin - recognizing how serious it was to God.

Not only did he recognize his sin, but he immediately went about dealing with the situation. It is here that we need to pay attention, because it is here that we often misunderstand God’s word about forgiveness. David sought God’s forgiveness and received it. But forgiveness didn’t eliminate the results of sin. There would be real implications that no amount of apology could do away with.

Forgiveness can help us respond to the trauma of sin with patience, endurance, understanding and humility. Which is good, because forgiveness rarely means that there will not be consequences. Lying to friends or betraying a trust is difficult to fix. It takes time to build the trust back into the relationship - even once forgiveness is received. Accidental death, even murder, can be forgiven - but the death and separation it causes are very real.

Every marriage, every family, struggles with sin - whether anger, jealousy, pride, or something else - as they say, “insert your problem here.” Since we know what sin does to our lives in general, we need to make every effort to guard our families. So the question is, how can we guard our families? What can we put in place as a preventive for the effects of sin?

The first, and often most overlooked, preventive measure is prayer. In prayer we can do a couple important things. We can recognize Jesus for who he is, the best example of character and sacrifice. We can thank him for all that he has done in the past, and all that he continues to do. We can seek forgiveness for the sin that is already at work in our lives, and we can ask God to help us as we deal with the results of that sin. And we can ask God to work in the lives of spouse and children - increasing their love of his word and building on his example.

We can also encourage a close relationship with God. This can be done through both words and actions, and probably should be. We should take advantage of every opportunity to encourage our families to find value in God’s word. That is one of the main points of Deuteronomy 6. But more than just asking, “Did you do your Bible study today?” we should be making sure that we have done our Bible study today. That we have spent time in prayer. Our kids are watching. Your spouse is watching. They will follow your example!

We are stewards in this life - just as much with our families as with our money. God is calling us to wisely guard his investment. It’s a responsibility that requires a close relationship with Christ. Take some time now to pray, thanking God for the family he has given you. And then pray for each family member - for their gifts and strengths as well as their weaknesses and struggles.